The C Word: The Year in Review

Just about one year ago I was beginning my second round of chemo and my 5th week of radiation. My ass resembled a female baboon in heat (I’ve got pictures) and believe you me sex was the farthest thing from my mind (although the post about dildos is one of my favorites). The swelling has gone down and the dildos are collecting dust in some shoe-box in my closet. And my opinion on sex remains unchanged. 12 months ago I was screaming into a towel every time I took a pee, hospitalized twice due to dehydration because I didn’t want to drink anything so I wouldn’t have to pee so I wouldn’t have to scream so I didn’t drink any water so I wouldn’t have to pee…
I discovered the joy found in a glass of chardonnay and a tab (or 2) of morphine. And how short that buzz was! I watched my 10+ years of hard won dreads come away in my hands while taking a shower. I’m not sure when my eyebrows decided to go but I’m happy they’re back. I don’t miss the friends I lost when they found out I wasn’t contagious and truly appreciate the ones I still have. Thanks to those fabulous few my medical bills have been paid and I don’t fear the mailman anymore. I’m still working on long term habits that may or may not have had anything to do with me getting cancer but that should be discontinued. And I know I’m not alone in that endeavor. I’ve finally mastered the art of “medical mnemonics” and can chat with the most learned of physicians.
So this past year I’ve learned a new language. I’ve learned how to take really good pictures of my ass while upside down. And how to laugh through tears while in a drug fueled stupor.

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