The C Word: 52 months and counting…

They say you waste up to 3 years of your life waiting in line. I don’t mind waiting…much, because I rarely do it. I admit to cutting in line at certain venues, right to the front too, knowing not one person would say anything. Well, not one white person anyway. They really are quite afraid of us. And sometimes rightly so but mostly wrongly.
If I am waiting I make the most of it by engaging my fellows. And most smile along, etc because they’re white and they’re afraid? Doesn’t matter to me. I’m just pleasantly passing the time. Seeking smiles wherever they may lie, hidden under the veneer of white fear. My physicians are no different. They’re white, every single one of them and boy are they uptight. Sadly so. I’m the one with the “disease” and I feel sorry for them. And I don’t know how to help them except to make them laugh. And it physically hurts me when they don’t. I don’t expect a full belly laugh but a chuckle now and again is NOT going to kill you. Sometimes I wish they’d just fake it. But men aren’t very good at that, are they? It’s not like I can give them cash, sex or anything material. They’ve got it all. Don’t they? Nope. No one does.
I know that laughter is the best medicine. Because there’s no way I’d have gotten through my brief, sometimes excruciatingly painful and really ugly ordeal without laughing more than crying. And having friends brave enough to laugh also, helped more than words can really express. So I’m counting down the months waiting for what? A clean bill of health? No, I’ll never have that again. I’ve been tarnished by my treatment but that’s ok. If you look closely I have a healthy glow at night from the radiation treatments and I know my short term memory is toxic toast from the chemo.
But its ALL good. I’m alive and so are you! I’m waiting, counting and laughing and counting and waiting and laughing….
Thanks for reading my friends. Stay slippery

2 Comments

  1. Dave Stern

    I hope you do cut in front of me in line. Because, if you do, I’d put my arms around your waist, kiss you on your cheek, and tell you, “I’m glad you’re still around to cut in front of me.” I just might do that anyway, line-cutting or no line cutting, tan or not.

  2. Annie

    I love you always, my dear friend. Even though I’m just a white gurl, you’ve always made me laugh!!! So glad you’re on the other side of all this! Peace…. Annie. 😉

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